Embrace your Weird🤪

There was this particular girl at school who would always find a way to look at me with this odd, bemused expression and say condescendingly “You’re weeeeeeird” in that lovely, north Queensland nasal twang (God bless us) at most opportunities it seemed that she could.

Even just that comment said a few times over my high school years made a big impact on my psyche. Couple that with negative reinforcement at home, and throw in a few more social interactions with various people who put me down for being myself, I was left feeling that me just being ME was not good enough.

That being my kooky-out-of-the-box self was too much, too weird, too out there. And that therefore I was somehow wrong. That I was not worthy.

So TODAY I am challenging the notion of ‘WEIRD’!

And reclaiming my own power back - and you can too!

Did you know that the word ‘weird’ originally meant someone who has the power to control fate?

And what does it mean to be able to control fate or destiny? The ancients believed fate was predestined, that certain things were set in stone by the gods to happen to you and that you had no control over it. Therefore someone in control of their fate was someone who could change the course of their pre-destined reality and overwrite the will of the gods in some way.

I’m in two minds about that. As I have deep reverence and respect for the Divine and am embracing more and more in my life the act or surrender, of letting go of my own will for my life and allowing the Divine to take the lead.

However another way to view fate or destiny is through the lens of empowerment.

Often we can feel that life is just happening to us rather than for us. And I still fall into this trap. It’s the small daily reminders however, of remembering that I am after all the creator of my life - that brings me back.

Yes some things are predestined, such as who our parents are and what our upbringing was like (although some people believe we chose what our lessons in life were to be and how they are to be played out and with which souls! But that’s another blog altogether).

But for the large part - we choose. And once we really become conscious of that, then we are able to become Conscious Creators of our destiny.

You can then choose consciously what you give your energy to, making focused and decisive decisions about what you want, need and allow in your life.

And this is where embracing your weird comes in. Embracing your weird is about accepting yourself, exactly how you are, right now in this very moment. It’s about loving and accepting yourself, warts and all. With all your quirks, with all the things you might love or hate about yourself. It’s about saying this is me, take it or leave it!

Because once you can accept yourself ‘warts n all’ it doesn’t matter so much what others think, or say about you - because you know who you are and you approve of yourself.

When you let go of the people pleasing and accept that you are enough, just as you are, that’s where empowerment comes in.

A part of who I am as Anzjuli is that I am a bit more out there! I never really used to see myself as different, but to some folk I really am, and I am learning to accept that more and celebrate that more. And you know, the more I’ve shared my crazy, kooky, funny side with people online and in-person, the more beautiful energy I have received from others.

People have said that I remind them not to take themselves so seriously, to play, to have more fun. That me being a bit silly is refreshing. That I gave them a good laugh and brightened their day.

I mean, that’s pretty special. Even if I don’t ‘succeed’ as a Sound Healer or Singer or coach or whatever, it’s nice to know that what I shared of my self brought a little spark to someone’s day. And who knows, sometimes just that little spark can help someone to keep going, to not give up and to follow their own spark.

So this week I challenge you to allow yourself to be more of you!

I know it can be tough. I KNOW. I get caught up in my head a lot wondering what people think of me - but that’s not very empowering - and at the end of the day not something I can control! Letting go of the need to control how you are perceived by others and approving and accepting yourself is the first steps to really feeling free to just BE YOU.

People who judge you, who might say you’re this or that - well that judgement is coming from their own lens and we all know people wear different lenses based on their upbringing, their values and their ‘identity’. The way my mother for instance would perceive and judge me is completely different from say a friend, or a colleague, or a client. Because she has a completely different lens.

I once saw a psychologist I follow on instagram wearing this fabulous hat that says
“Can’t please em all” - and I just thought that was so brilliant. And it’s true.

You are not going to be for everyone. Some people will love you, some will hate you, some will be drawn to you, some repelled by you. But trying to change yourself, water yourself down or make yourself bigger or smaller is a waste of your energy. And it is a waste of your gifts!

God/Goddess/Universe/Higher Self/Source (pick your ‘poison’ haha) didn’t put you on this beautiful earth to waste energy trying to be something you’re not to please your aunt, or mum or your neighbour, or that cute guy at the gym, or your boss, or husband. NOPE.

Goddess put you here for you to be YOU and in you truely being you and shining your light is where your STRENGTH lies.

If you aren’t truely yourself around others, how do you know if they even like you, for you!? Or just the version you’ve created for them to see? (Especially in relationships and with family).

I am currently learning this lesson of being ok with people not liking me, misinterpreting me through their own trauma lens, not approving of what I do, say or stand for. And its challenging! I can tell ya that! Especially when I do not have the approval of my parents in the things I am most passionate about (and we all want that). It’s tough.

But challenge is where we grow and transform and as a transformational coach and Sound Healer - it is what I am passionate about.

SO what are the practical steps you can actually take to be more of yourself? I love being practical! It’s all good and well to read things and have theories, but we must apply them for it to actually work! Theory means nothing if it doesn’t work in practice!

1. Begin witnessing when you hold back - a meditation or yoga practice is helpful to begin to establish that inner witnessing of yourself, to become conscious of your thoughts, feelings and reactions - as so many of them can be automatic - becoming really aware when you hold yourself back from speaking or acting in a certain way is step one.

2. In what circumstances and with whom do you hold back? - is it with family? A specific friend, at work, in the shops, at the gym? Figure out where and with whom do you feel you hold back ie - you stop yourself from expressing and feeling safe to just be you.

3. Assess why - what is it about this place, or person that makes you feel like you cant’t be yourself? Are you afraid they will reject you, abandon you, judge you in a negative way? Journal and allow yourself to play that out.
   
   What would happen if they rejected you, abandoned you, judged you? Would it be the most horrible thing? What could happen? Could it turn out not as bad as you think? Why do you fear abandonment/rejection so much? How can you heal that? Where did that original fear come from? (Hello shadow work!)

4. Create and find safe spaces to start being yourself in - Find a space or person whom you feel you can just BE yourself with. This could be a supportive woman’s circle, a specific friend, a Sound Healing circle, a yoga class, a book club - find your people. At first it might just be one person, or a small group and begin by building up slowly. Allow yourself to speak what you feel a little more, allow yourself to laugh when you want to laugh, or make a funny snorting noise when you find something amusing (others might find that endearing! haha). Make space to be you and explore that socially.

5. Practice it out in the ‘real world’ - Once you’re feeling more expressed and comfy being yourself in these safe spaces, begin stepping it out into your other circles bit by bit. Maybe say at the gym! Do you really want to grunt when lifting those heavy weights? DO IT! Got a different opinion with something said at the dinner table? Speak your mind.
   
   There is a caveat here worth mentioning. Some people will just not get you.
   And being YOU around them could very well drain your energy because of their possible backlash, or disagreeableness, or general non-acceptance of who you are.

   I’ve been there and no matter how much I tried to be kind to this person or just be myself around them - they just HATED ME - so being around them was so stressful! I could really feel that seething, URGH energy! And often it really is them and not you…You just being you could be intimidating to them, it could ignite jealousy or a mix of different things. SO with those kinds of folks I would suggest to limit your time or completely remove yourself from them if possible.
   
   It is super draining when you are constantly being criticised or judged or looked down on when you are yourself - and you don’t got time for that!
   
   When you are building up your self-acceptance, self-expression and self-worth muscle it’s going to be really hard to grow when someone keeps chopping you down. So be gentle with yourself and create the space between you and others who aren’t supportive of your growth.

   Surround yourself with people who do love you for who you are and limit time with those who don’t!
   

   If you find you want more support in opening up yourself to more full and authentic self-expression please get in touch with me, as I offer not only Sound Healing, but also Voice and Body expressions to help release tension, judgement and fear from the body and voice in order to help you gain the confidence to be your radiant self!
   
   Click here to connect :)