To THRIVE - what does it really mean?

I woke up today feeling off...like that little switch had turned the other way and everything was dark. I know woman who experience PMDD/depression/whatever it is can relate. I have been pushing myself harder to be more consistent with my business, to put in more effort, put myself out there more, believe in myself, back myself, not give up – and I’ve been feeling more energy, more joy, more pleasure and fun in doing that (though not all the time – it has been A LOT of effort/work).

But today was just really really hard and I didn't do any work.

I've organised an upcoming event called THRIVE and it's about learning to thrive despite your circumstances and finding more joy in life, despite the setbacks. Today for me thriving was sitting out on the lawn, staring at the trees, then attempting to play the guitar before lying down and having ants crawl on me whilst trying to nod off...and wearing ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones because sound was unbearable today.

Thriving for me today was struggling like heck through my gym workout, feeling weak as fu$% and holding back tears.

Thriving today for me was being triggered as hell comparing myself to others, crying in the shower, feeling like I’m doing everything I can and seeing no results, wanting to quit and feeling like I have no one to really talk to about it all (Yup 100% transparency here). Also remembering a tattoo I want to get but can’t yet afford that reads “This Too Shall Pass”.

So you might wonder how someone like me, could think that today was thriving, not just 'surviving'...or how someone like me could put on an event called THRIVE and try to help others find ways to thrive despite their challenges, whilst her life by external factors couldn’t be seen as ‘thriving’ sometimes when compared to what society has said thriving is…

Well I'm doing it cause I know how shit things can be and I know how good things can be too. And I want to create community, where we discover together and help each other heal and grow. And I’ve got all this, I don’t know what to call it, FIRE I guess in my being that needs to do this thing, like a great universal SHOVE in this direction, even though it’s really, extremely, hard.

Even if today I struggled to love myself in the thick of shitty-physical/mental-ness does not mean I am not thriving – and I’m standing by that no matter what you (or maybe not you!), or society or anyone else may think – say – advise. I didn’t ask for it. I am backing myself. This is my Truth.

I am challenging this notion that thriving has to mean ALWAYS IN BLOOM. Ridiculous. Nothing natural on earth is always 'thriving' 100% of the time...Unless...it is and we just don’t SEE it or can understand its mechanisms. Take nature for example. To me she is always thriving. Even in winter, when all the trees are bare (not really in QLD but we still get some cold, some slowing down) – but in winter, things slow down, cease, die! Usually cold or snow covers the earth – literally nature is saying SLOW DOWN – STOP – REST.

Life then isn’t some big summery show with lots of new babies and sprouting flowers and frolicking rabbits and what not – it’s cold, its hibernation time, its death time.

So why as humans do we think, when we have our days of ‘death’ (not literally death, but the slowing down of ‘productivity’) the days of rest, of exhaustion, the days of sitting out on the lawn staring at the trees, the days of crying  – that this isn’t part of the system of THRIVING?

Without winter, there IS NO SPRING. Without rain there is NO GROWTH. We need the sun, as much as we need the rain. It’s a delicate cycle of life and we’re a part of it. And women’s bodies SHOW US these cycles every month. Start tracking your cycles women. You have an internal system of the seasons - Winter (menstruation) Spring (Follicular) Summer (Ovulation) and Autumn (Luteal) – and living in more alignment with this cycle can bring more balance.

This system is inbuilt in us and in nature – and without one season, the others would not function. We NEED (whether we like it or not) winter. We need spring. We need summer. We need autumn. A plant does not just miraculously appear in its full form. It begins as a seed. It goes through stages. Is the seed not ‘thriving’ when it is under the earth, in darkness, in the dirt? Seemingly stagnating, doing nothing?

How do you know it’s not thriving? Can you see inside the seed? What we do know is that it is doing what it needs to do. It is doing it’s cosmic job of slowly sending down roots – further down in the darkness, securing itself, nourishing itself, laying a FOUNDATION, growing stronger before it begins to grow upwards towards the LIGHT.

Don’t skip your foundations. You WILL go through all these stages, again and again and again. But if you can harness the power, the energy of each stage and accept them, work with them, you are thriving. It’s a cycle of thriving. Stop looking at a single day – or a few days of no ‘productivity’ as evidence of you not thriving, or even a month, or year, or several years. You are learning, you are growing, you are laying the foundation. You are changing.

Yes some of us seem to take longer, have more winding paths, might not look like much on the outside, but society does not know our hearts, our souls, our minds. Only YOU can know yourself intimately, the most intimately.

So I am doing this event. I am accepting (slowly) that not everyday is GO SUMMER GIRL DAY – like I would like it to be.

I am accepting that the cycle is thriving and honouring it is thriving.

I am accepting that from the outside I might not have the fancy car, house, kids, marriage, secure job, financial abundance, fancy clothes, gadgets, holidays – whatever society deems as evidence of thriving – but that I have some of the most infectious joy I’ve ever felt, that I have an insane amount of creativity that pours from me, that I have a deep love for humanity, that I see the beauty and wonder and delight in the morning sun and the feel of the leaves on my skin from my favourite tree. That I can lose myself in my writing and in my creations for hours on end. That I dance wildly in my room to music I love. That I inspire people, that I can make you laugh, that I help people through my work, that I can help to calm people’s hurts, their anxieties, that I can do something of note. To dance naked outside in the sun – to me that is thriving. Fu%$ what society says.

SO this is a call to you. If you feel DONE with thinking you’re messed up, wrong, behind, broken, unlovable, unworthy or whatever else rubbish you’ve been fed by society – if you’re done with playing small, being a victim to your circumstances. If you’re done with accepting less than what you want or deserve. If you’re done with shitty relationships and beliefs and religions and things that don’t help you feel joyful, fulfilled, grateful, ALIVE AND FREE – then come to the event and discover what does make you feel alive and free.

If all you gain from it is relaxation then that’s still a pretty big win in today’s world! But I know you will gain much more from it. And I can’t do it without you and I don’t want to do it without you. I don’t say this lightly  - TOGETHER we RISE – I heal by helping you heal and you heal by helping me heal.

So come just as you are, in whatever stage of the cycle you are in. And let’s dance and sing and be merry and mad and sad and glad together. Because we need each other. Nature thrives not in alienation, but in working together as a cohesive whole. Abolish the fear and come out of hiding. Join me.

Yours truly,

Anzjuli